coffee for smart people

my blog has moved, please update your bookmarks and feeds!

2009-01-06T14:29:00.003-05:00

Please visit my new blog/website at http://www.brewnerds.com

This feed/website will not be updated anymore, so be sure to change your google homepage rss feed as well.

free coffee for smart people tuesday

2008-12-23T09:03:00.003-05:00

new question:

what is the equation of the oblique asymptote for the following function:

previous answer:
linus torvalds, duh.

free coffee for smart people tuesday

2008-12-09T08:29:00.004-05:00

today's question:

who is this (accomplished, astute, brainy, bright, brilliant, clever, discerning, expert, genius, gifted, ingenious, intellectual, inventive, knowing, knowledgeable, profound, sharp, smart, talented) man?

as always, you have two weeks to enter the doors of either brew nerds locations, tell my faithful and devoted employee the answer to the question, and receive a 450 ml beverage of your choice.
(please note: we are now serving peppermint stick mochas and eggnog lattes!!)

f.c.f.s.p. (11/25 answer)

2008-12-09T08:25:00.002-05:00

95.5 degree Fahrenheit.

If you need a reminder, the question was:
your barista hands you your cup of coffee and it's 140° F. ten minutes later, you remove your thermometer from your pocket protector and measure and it's now 120° F.
assuming exponential decay in temperature (who wouldn't?) and that room temperature is 70°, what will the temperature be in 20 more minutes, 30 minutes from when it was handed to you?

stocking stuffer

2008-12-07T16:10:00.003-05:00

while out shopping for christmas gifts for some of the people in my life with whom i share dna, i came across this star trek pez gift pack. what a delightful christmas morning it would be, should i find these nestled in the bottom of my stocking.

ps. if you do buy them for me, please be sure to leave them sealed in the original packaging, for obvious reasons.

happy day of giving thanks

2008-11-27T10:51:00.003-05:00

i'd like to wish all of my devoted followers a happy thanksgiving day.
in the spirit of giving thanks, i have compiled a list of things i'm thankful for.
note: this list does not include the standard items for which one is commonly thankful for (family, health, provisions, and so on).

1. linus torvalds.
2. perfect coffee.
3. the information super highway.
4. robotslinus torvalds.
5. telescopes.
6. chaos theory.
7. pumpkin spice (as it pertains to the latte).
8. binary.
9. pseudo-random ghost movements in ms. pacman
10. this turkey recipe (and related site).

free coffee for smart people tuesday

2008-11-25T07:46:00.006-05:00

alright, fellow nerds...
here's the third installment of free coffee for smart people tuesdays trivia question. as always, you have two weeks to enter any brew nerds location, both on earth and in outer space. inform the coffee specialist of the answer and he or she will reward you with a savory beverage selection of your choice. in the 450 milliliter size, that is.

here's a practical question:

your barista hands you your cup of coffee and it's 140° F. ten minutes later, you remove your thermometer from your pocket protector and measure and it's now 120° F.
assuming exponential decay in temperature (who wouldn't?) and that room temperature is 70°, what will the temperature be in 20 more minutes, 30 minutes from when it was handed to you?

you may begin.... now.

11.11.08 f.c.f.s.p. answer

2008-11-25T07:38:00.002-05:00

for the last two weeks, we've been running this question:

What is the name of the brown character that is found all over the
internet in photoshop parodies and competitions?

the answer is:
domo-kun, domokun or domo

on my christmas list

2008-11-14T08:32:00.005-05:00

you can purchase it here.
and get recipes here.

free coffee for smart people tuesdays

2008-11-11T16:54:00.002-05:00

moving away from math and into technology/nerd pop-culture this week.

here's your question for a free drink (just visit one of my emporiums this week or next and give the answer to a coffee scientist):
What is the name of the brown character that is found all over the internet in photoshop parodies and competitions?

an easy one for the true nerds.

mandelbrot set

2008-11-10T07:50:00.001-05:00

mandelbrot zoom video, set to classical music.

addictive games

2008-11-10T07:47:00.001-05:00

here's a link describing what makes them addictive.

(from the brainiacs at wired.com)

autumn beverage selection

2008-10-30T20:59:00.004-04:00

the autumn climate has descended upon us quickly.
with that comes a shift in the time-space-beverage continuum. human beings not only prefer, but find great comfort in drinks riddled with typical autumn flavors. the change in the climate brings with it a desire for pumpkin and apples (not the computer), nutmeg and cinnamon.

at brew nerds, we are delighted to roll out three new beverages, scientifically engineered to enhance all of your autumn activities. whether you've just finished raking leaves, carving a pumpkin, or baking a pie, these beverages are sure to please.

stop in soon, and enjoy a pumpkin spice latte, a caramel apple cider (my favorite) or a spiced cider. they are the liquid equivalent of a hayride.

clarification

2008-10-29T08:10:00.002-04:00

allow me to clarify a point that may have been unclear.

the name "free coffee for smart people tuesdays" seems to indicate that the free coffee may only be redeemed on the same tuesday that the question is posed. this, however, is untrue. the question can be answered on any day in the two weeks following the posting. this should give any nerd ample time to read a college level textbook pertaining to the topic of said question.

so.... get back to calculating!

free coffee for smart people tuesdays

2008-10-28T00:01:00.000-04:00

here is the inaugural tuesday free coffee question. it is no coincidence that the subject of the first question is calculus, as it is the foundation of all mathematics, and therefore the foundation of all the sciences. but, you already knew that.

it's actually quite simple.

free coffee for smart people tuesdays

2008-10-27T15:31:00.006-04:00

in an effort to reward the brilliance of my devoted customers and fellow brew nerds, i'm starting a little promotion entitled free coffee for smart people tuesdays. every other tuesday, that is.

it will work like this:
1. every other tuesday, i will post a question. they will not be for the intellectually inferior.
2. if you're a nerd and you know the answer, then you'll enter one of my coffee emporiums.
3. here you'll inform the coffee scientist on staff of the answer to the question.
4. if you are correct, you'll be rewarded with one free coffee beverage of your choice.
5. you'll sign your name on a nerd hall of fame and wait patiently for two weeks until the next free coffee for smart people tuesday question.

the first question will post tomorrow at 12:01 am.

for the travelling nerd....

2008-10-22T07:08:00.002-04:00

...an article with tips for making the best of a dismal situation: the dreaded hotel coffee machine.
(there's even a graph!!)

note: when brew nerds achieves complete galaxy domination, this blog post will self destruct.

Delicious

2008-10-19T20:28:00.001-04:00

2πr

2008-10-15T22:02:00.004-04:00

brew nerds 2.0 (the downtown location) is now serving bagels.
not just any bagels.
bagel station bagels.

if brew nerds coffee was the universe's best coffee before, while being paired only with sweet counterparts, how much more intellectually superior will it be now that it also has a salty accompaniment? ridiculous.

nerd attire: episode 5 - the cool nerd

2008-10-14T14:26:00.004-04:00

to find a perfect example of a cool nerd, one needs to look no further than their television set during approximately 13 out of 20 percent of commercial breaks. that is to say, the epitome of cool nerdiness is:

there are no written rules for the attire that a cool nerd can don. the key is to blend in with our non nerd counterparts. whether said nerd is cool or not, their fashion sense will render them undetectable as an intellectual superior to the casual observer.

there is one possible negative side effect to this style:
as a cool nerd seeks out other nerds for companionship, he will be met with distrust. most nerds are filled with a great amount of pride regarding their state of nerdiness, so the disguise themselves as a lowly member of the non-mensa community is a slap in the face. cool nerds will likely have to work very hard to identify other fellow cool nerds for friendship, which can be a daunting task.

it is my (highly intellectual) opinion that while the cool nerd look may be good for selling macs and other techie devices to the uneducated masses, true nerds should bask in their nerdiness and relish every opportunity to put it on display.

this is the last post in the nerd attire series. n = 5, if you will.

what style of nerd attire do you prefer??

23 unsolved math problems

2008-10-06T13:56:00.002-04:00

the kind nerds at NetworkWorld.com have assembled a list of the world's 23 toughest math questions. unfortunately, due to my obligations as the mastermind of the smart coffee revolution, i haven't had much time to devote to lending my supreme brain power to these problems.

it is safe to say, however, that there is a direct correlation between the progress of the brew nerds coffee takeover and the probability that these problems are solved. how i wish i could be there for the magical moment when the perfect cup of coffee hits the lips of an unsuspecting mathematical genius, making these 23 problems seem like mere rocket science to him (or her).

Nerd Attire - Episode Four: The Costumed Nerd

2008-09-22T13:49:00.005-04:00

To begin, allow me to apologize for the short hiatus from my series on Nerd Attire. Now, without further ado, I bring you part 4 of the series, the Costumed Nerd.

The attire for a Costumed Nerd is perfectly intuitive.
In this case, a particular sci-fi (or other nerd-type) character strikes a chord with the Costumed Nerd, prompting them to go to great lengths to support and even honor said character. Imitation being the sincerest form of flattery, the obvious way to express this undying support is to duplicate the clothing that adorns the character.

It is this nerd's hope that the Costumed Nerd chooses opportune times to cloth his or her self as their favorite character, such as conventions, conferences and Halloween, but that is not always the case. A few, extreme Costumed Nerds will take it to the next level, outfitting themselves in science fiction costumes in their daily lives.

Enough narration. This attire can only be done true justice via digital imagery.

Trinity, Morpheus and Neo:

Tron Guy:

Trekkies (most common attire for the Costumed Nerd):

Han Solo and Princess Leia:

Up next: The final installment - The Cool Nerd

52% Pure Nerd

2008-09-11T08:48:00.005-04:00

I happened upon this test today that determines what percentage of one's genetic makeup consists of Nerd, Geek and Dork components. See my results below:

Pure Nerd

52 % Nerd, 30% Geek, 13% Dork

For The Record:

A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.
A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.
A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.
You scored better than half in Nerd, earning you the title of: Pure Nerd.

The times, they are a-changing. It used to be that being exceptionally smart led to being unpopular, which would ultimately lead to picking up all of the traits and tendences associated with the "dork." No-longer. Being smart isn't as socially crippling as it once was, and even more so as you get older: eventually being a Pure Nerd will likely be replaced with the following label: Purely Successful.

Congratulations!

Poll: Which blend of coffee best suits your drinking preferences?

2008-09-02T09:28:00.001-04:00

Quizzes by Quibblo.com

Nerd Attire - Episode Three: The Gadget Lover

2008-08-28T14:09:00.007-04:00

The Gadget Lover

There are two types of gadget loving nerds. The first likes to prominently display their entire collection of modern technological marvels for all the world to see. The second is more discreet, and prefers to stow away their mp3 players, cell phones, portable gps systems, nintendo ds's, and other miscellaneous tiny, plastic coated collections of resistors, semiconductors, capacitors, et cetera.

The Proud Gadget Lover:
The goal of the proud gadget lover is to let the technology have the spotlight. This nerd's clothing selection should be overshadowed by the proud displaying of all things gadget. The base layer of clothing can be any of the previous or yet to be discussed nerd apparel options.

Once the base layer is applied, the proud gadget lover must assemble a collection of greater than or equal to four seperate pieces of technical gadgetry. The most common item in the arsenal of this nerd is the cell phone. When clipped onto a belt, it screams, "I am important". Two phones are even better. This lets everyone know that your work pays for one of them and you choose to keep your personal life seperated. Another obvious choice is the mp3 player, which can be secured around the neck or in a sleeve on the upper arm. Other options include a hand held gaming system, a graphing calculator, or a camera. Of course, many of these technologies are being combined, which poses a great threat to the proud gadget lover species.

The Incognito Gadget Lover:
This tech nerd makes their clothing purchases with one goal in mind: the safe and hidden storage of as many tech devices as possible. The folks at Scottevest are there to help. Here's an excerpt from their website:
SCOTTEVEST makes innovative, versatile, technology-enabled clothing – jackets, fleece layers, cargo vests, pants, shorts, shirts and more, all designed to help you store, manage, and carry your electronic gadgets and other gear essentials.

The beauty of Scottevest is that the clothes are fairly trendy and it's nearly impossible (probability = .007) for an aspiring nerd to go wrong. It's possible for the Incognito Gadget Lover to blend into the mainstream and have his nerdom go completely undetected.

It is not imperative that a nerd wishing to stow away their gadgets purchase their clothing from scottevest. This task can be accomplished much more simply and with baggy cargo pants or shorts and a hooded sweatshirt.

Next Installment: TBD

Nerd Attire - Episode Two: The New Nerd

2008-08-21T14:42:00.007-04:00

In today's discussion on nerd fashion, we will focus on the up and coming trends for the New Nerd.

Shirt: The most popular attire for the upper half of the body for today's nerd is a black t-shirt. The t-shirt can portray any number of graphics, including, but not limited to, the following:
1. a funny slogan about said nerd's computer operating system, programming language, video game system, et cetera, of choice.
2. a mocking slogan about inferior os's, languages, games, etc (and/or the users of them).
3. any science fiction movie or tv show logo.
4. a catchy mathematics, science, or technology slogan.
5. retro tv shows, children's toys, video games and movies.
Very very important note: the new nerd will NOT be found wearing a t-shirt mocking their own nerdiness. This apparel is designed for nerd mockers and nerd wannabes.
The "new nerd" black t-shirt is meant to be worn untucked and is commonly paired with...

Pants: ...blue jeans. There are three viable denim options to compliment the "New Nerd" look. The first, and most common, is the relaxed fit, plain blue, no bells or whistles blue jean. There can be some signs of wear, but a clean and crisp pair will suffice, as well. The second option in denim is the carpenter jeans. This look was popularized in the late 90's, but is still considered a trademark for today's nerd. The reason for the carpenter pants' longevity in nerd fashio is that the baggy style allows for the storage of any number of tech gadgets. Rounding out the trio of denim options is a pair of snug fitting, black jeans. Wearers of this style should be aware that this selection most boldly proclaims one's nerdom.

Socks and Shoes: white socks. All white New Balance walking shoes. There should be no deviation from this, whatsoever.

Accessories:There are only a couple of sure fire accessories for the New Nerd style: A large pair of glasses is a good choice for the novice, bifocals being even better and black leather (or faux leather) belt would compliment the look of black t-shirt with jeans. An iPod is optional and a fanny pack will secure the wearer's identity as a tried and true nerd.

Next: The Gadget Lover

Nerd Attire - Episode One: The Old School Nerd

2008-08-18T12:41:00.003-04:00

Old School Nerd(The obvious first choice)

Shirt: To pull off the old school nerd look, you'll need to don a short sleeve collared dress shirt with one or two front pockets. A white shirt works best for this look, but other solids will work nicely, as will certain prints and plaids.
To accompany this look, try a pocket protector, a bow tie, or suspenders. Or, if you're feeling up to the challenge, go with all three!
Also, please note, that when opting for this style, it is imperative that the shirt be buttoned all the way to the top as well as tucked in to the pants.

Pants: Any nerd looking to pull off the old school nerd look should invest in several pairs of blue, black and khaki dickies. It is advised that these pants should be pulled as high as biologically possible and secured with a belt (or suspenders as aforementioned). The more ankle that the weared can make visible, the better.

Socks: There are only two alternatives for socks: Black crew cut or white crew cut. It is nonnegotiable.

Shoes: The most common old school nerd footwear is the black dress shoe. This style was made popular by the movie "Revenge of the Nerds" and has set the standard for nerd style. The more comfortable the shoe, the better. An all black pair of sneakers is not preferred, but is an allowable alternative.

Accessories: There are many viable accessories for the old school nerd. Previously mentioned, the suspenders, pocket protectors, bow ties and belts are good starting points. Other key items include: black, thick rimmed glasses with optional tape on the bridge, a cleanly side parted hair style, and a casio watch with full calculator capabilities.

Up next: The New Nerd

Nerd Attire - Episode Zero: The Terminology

2008-08-18T00:30:00.002-04:00

This is the first in an n part series detailing various options for dressing oneself as a proper nerd, where n is the number of parts in the series (to be determined at a future date and time).

First, some naming conventions:

Shirt: Working from the top of the head, the clothing begins just below the neck and continues down, stopping approximately at one's waist. This clothing usually (in nerds) covers all of the area in this region, without interruption and spreads in width to slightly above the elbow region. However, in colder locales, it is common to find apparel that extends further to the wrist.

Pants: This clothing picks up where the shirt leaves off, in the waist region, and continues down approximately to one's ankles. A shorter version of this attire can end around the knees, and is referred to as "shorts".

Shoes: Made of a more durable compound that the first two clothing units described and used to cover and provide walking protection for the foot. Often, a cushioning layer of fabric, called "socks" are between the shoes and the foot, and play a significant role in the fashion of the nerd.

ny times on coffee myths

2008-08-11T14:48:00.002-04:00

during my morning ritual of enjoying an eye opening cup of brew nerds deep and patroling the world wide web for interesting information, i happened upon this article in the ny times.

updates and excuses

2008-08-05T19:32:00.005-04:00

regretfully, an inexcusable amount of time has passed since my last post. an array of reasons has contributed to my absence from the world wide web. below, you can find an enumerated list of the most important factors, which can be categorized as either a) an important update or b) a poor excuse for not blogging.

1. the new store opening
brew nerds 2.0 opened, offering phenomenally stunning coffee to patrons residing in the downtown winston-salem vicinity, as well as to those willing to travel to the new mecca of caffeinated beverages. there were some glitches and delays, but things are running along smoothly now and we are one step closer to global domination.

2. preparing for defcon
i have been busy honing my capture the flag and hacking skills (white hat, of course) in preparation for defcon 16 which will take place this weekend in las vegas.

3. viewing the dark night
several days ago, i made the decision to trek to the local theatre to view the latest installment of the batman movies. in an effort to fully engage in my movie experience, i spent many hours preparing for the event by taking in the previous batman movies, reading up on my collection of batman graphic novels (or comic books, to the lay person), and searching the internet for obscure batman facts. in homage to the batman, i spent some time dusting off my collectible action figures of him and his various foes. i even went so far as to assemble several lego batman play sets. once i achieved the proper mindset, i was off to the theatre and i was not disappointed. i urge and implore all of my loyal readers to see it.

4. mario kart for the wii
this can most certainly be filed away in the category of b) excuse. something has come over me, and in every single moment of free time that i have (which is negligible in the first place), i am consumed with the need, the obsession, to play mario kart for the wii. i have unlocked almost all of the characters, cars and races, and with each one, the hunger for the next is increased. mario kart is my drug.

brew nerds 2.0 rollout delay

2008-07-15T10:14:00.004-04:00

the opening of the brew nerds new downtown coffee emporium has been delayed, due to our tireless effort to be in full compliance with local statutes and regulations.

this, of course, means that i will have to recalculate my mathematical growth model from this post, but that should only take a couple of minutes.

i'm sorry for any inconveniences this may have caused my devoted minions. stay tuned for further details...

wardriving

2008-07-15T06:13:00.000-04:00

Recently I've taken to a new hobby: wardriving.

For the uninitiated, wardriving involves coupling your laptop with a
GPS device and driving around to catalog the various access points
that are viewable.

Some darker-than-white-hat hackers take wardriving to the next level
and piggyback onto open wireless networks that are available. My
interest lies solely in collecting information about the security of
the available networks. Of the 613 wireless networks I have found in
the past 3 days, 38% are using WEP encryption, 20% are using WPA/WPA2
encryption and 42% are using no encryption.

My setup of choice is the following:
-15" Intel Core2 Duo MacBook Pro
-Kismac Trunk r273
-Hawking Technology USB Wireless G Adapter (HWUG1A)
-Hawking outdoor 9dBi gain omnidirectional antenna (HAO9SIP)

Kismac will export a Google Earth KML file that will allow you to view
your previous wardriving adventures. It is quite interesting how many
people don't care about security these days.

Of course all of my blog readers have fully secured enterprise level
WPA2 talking to a RADIUS server with two-factor authentication.

Am I right or am I right?

fyi

2008-07-08T07:58:00.002-04:00

Lego death star

2008-07-01T09:48:00.001-04:00

Where was this when was a young nerdling? Needless to say, I will order one from my summer 2008 lego catalog, immediately...

Sierpinski carpet fractal cookies

2008-06-30T10:29:00.007-04:00

while perusing the internet for delectable treats suitable for accompanying the universe's best coffee, i happened upon an article from fellow intellectuals at evil mad scientist laboratories that details how to create these fractal cookies in the likeness of a Sierpinski carpet:

The guide can be found at this location in the www.

Suffice to say, I'm now on a quest to obtain a Play-doh extruder so that I can make these, and other various forms of pixel cookies.

coffee takeover equation

2008-06-17T10:00:00.001-04:00

on monday, july 14th, 2008, the coffee consuming masses will stand in awe as brew nerds will unveil another coffee distribution facility, in the neverending pursuit of complete earthly coffee conquest.

that means, exactly 143 days after the brew nerds prototype model began supplying area winston-salem nerds with mind blowing coffee, the operation has now doubled in size.

using this data and a small bit of optimism, i have created the following exponential growth model to determine the number of brew nerds stores there will be at any given time:
N = e^(1.774069008t)
[or more accurately: N = e^(366ln(2)t/143)]
where N is the number of Brew Nerds stores and t is time, measured in years since the opening of the first store (2008).

furthermore, at the rate of growth, i can estimate that it will be 5.4206113 years (5 years, 153 days, 12 hours, 33 minutes, 18.58170182 seconds) until brew nerds overtakes the evil mermaid, who currently operates 15,011 stores.

and lest i forget, here are the details surrounding the opening of the new brew nerds store:
opening date: july 14th, 2008.
location: 305 w. 4th street, winston-salem, nc (formerly "sin coffee bar").
coffee iq: 160

note: calculations performed on ti-84 plus silver edition graphing calculator.

proud nerd

2008-06-17T09:57:00.003-04:00

i couldn't help but post a digitally captured image of one of my proudest nerds:

more geek decor must-haves

2008-06-12T07:40:00.004-04:00

these will compliment the ascii curtains very well.
actually, since they appeal to two opposing interests of nerdiness (computers and video games), it would not be ideal to put these in the same room as the curtains.

310.2° K

2008-06-07T21:05:00.003-04:00

it has come to my attention that the temperature has been reaching record highs over the course of the past several days. i've overheard a number of conversations, wherein the participants exchange statements expressing their disgust, frustration and uncomfortableness regarding said weather conditions.

i, however, being a very pale, white nerd, can offer a different perspective.

nerds not only prefer the indoors, they embrace it. at an early age, it is this trait that can help to distinguish a potential nerd from his or her non-nerd counterpart. young nerds will opt to play video games in the basement rather than ride a two wheeled, non-motorized vehicle around the neighborhood. in the ensuing high school years, future nerds will choose to participate in indoor activities such as the math team and the chess club over outdoor activities involving inflated spheres and physical exertion.

as an adult nerd, i not only choose nerdy indoor activities, but my fragile skin is unable to handle very many UV rays without quickly transforming into a blistering (not to mention excruciating) sunburn. therefore, during hot weather, you can find me and my fellow nerds indoors and happy to be there.

note: during the heat wave, i will switch my coffee drinking habits from hot to iced.

nerd curtains

2008-06-04T17:01:00.004-04:00

i need these:

singing calculus nerds

2008-05-30T09:53:00.004-04:00

these fellow nerds would have certainly been my friends in high school.

units

2008-05-29T07:39:00.003-04:00

it seems that in my previous post, i was a bit incomplete. i left off the units of measurement, which is nearly unforgivable in the scientific community.

so first of all, let me say, "i'm sorry".

secondly, it's kilograms. kilograms of coffee consumed per capita, by country.

i trust this will clear up any confusion. thank you.

coffee consumption

2008-05-28T20:56:00.003-04:00

below is a table of the annual per capita coffee consumption, by country.

Norway 10.7
Finland 10.1
Denmark 9.7
Sweden 7.8
Netherlands 7.1
Switzerland 7.0
Germany 5.7
Austria 5.5
Belgium 5.0
France 3.9
Italy 3.2
United States 3.0*
Canada 2.4
Australia 2.0
Japan 1.4
United Kingdom 1.2
New Zealand 0.9
Ireland 0.7

*now that brew nerds is on the scene, you can expect to see u.s. coffee consumption to increase significantly.

new wii game

2008-05-20T14:47:00.004-04:00

last weekend, a new addition was welcomed into my home. i am now the proud owner of mario kart for my nintendo wii.

i have attempted, unsuccessfully, to evenly distribute my playing time in such a manner as to allow for my necessary daily tasks to go without suffering. however, each time i pass by my high definition, dynamic picture broadcasting device, in my peripheral vision, the glowing blue light on the wii console seems to be calling out for me. the force is strong with this one. my nerd instincts take over, and before i know what has happened, i find myself reclined in the video rocker, revolutionary wii wheel firmly in my grasp, racing furiously against internet participants across continent.

past experience indicates that once the novelty wears off, i can resume my daily routine as i once knew it, but for now, you can find me virtually located in the wii network, most likely in the form of yoshi.

quote of the day

2008-05-17T18:50:00.003-04:00

Toast always lands buttered-side down, and a cat always lands feet first. I propose we strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the two will hover, spinning inches from the ground. With a giant buttered-toast/cat array, a hovering monorail could easily link New York with Chicago.

-John Frazee (Journal of Irreproducible Results)

geek v. nerd

2008-05-08T09:01:00.000-04:00

from wikipedia:

geek: a peculiar or otherwise odd person, especially one who is perceived to be overly obsessed with one or more things including those of intellectuality, electronics, gaming, etc.

nerd: a person who passionately pursues intellectual activities, esoteric knowledge, or other obscure interests.

furthermore, it is commonly believed that nerds are socially awkward, but in the new generation of nerd, this is not necessarily true. nerds can be simultaneously nerdy and cool.

neglect, halo 3, employees, and a+bi

2008-05-07T08:39:00.005-04:00

it appears this blog has fallen victim to slight neglect and has suffered from a long interval between posts. to my faithful readers, i send my deepest apologies.

the fact is, there hasn't been much to blog about in the life of leonard the coffee nerd.

last weekend, there was a halo 3 tournament at the local mall. not wanting to spend the rest of my existence in a state of "what might have been", i headed over to put my skills to the test. unfortunately, i suffered an early demise, at the hands of some energetic teenagers. however, in my defense, video game prowess is widely considered (by the intellectual community) to be the pursuit of a geek, rather than that of a nerd. i am quite a sore loser and decided that there were more important endeavors to participate in, so i didn't wait around to see who would be crowned the halo 3 mall champion.

the store is operating very smoothly. my employees have been eagerly gaining a wealth of knowledge concerning the best practices of making great coffee. they have also showed unwavering dedication and have completely embraced the brew nerds way. it increases the levels of serotonin in my brain when i see them engaged in the task of providing the masses with great coffee.

in my personal time, i've been investigating the subject of complex variables. it's a topic of mathematics that has given me a lot of grief at times, but that i find most intriguing. mere mortals cannot wrap their brains around the concept of imaginary numbers, much less performing high level mathematical operations on them. i suppose that's what seperates the brew nerds from the rest of the pack...

coffee facts

2008-04-29T14:53:00.002-04:00

-Over 500 billion cups of coffee are consumed yearly.

-Nearly 1/3 of the world's coffee is produced in Brazil.

-Americans consumed 22.1 gallons per capita in 2000.

-Coffee is the top agricultural export for 12 countries (Burundi, Central African Republic, Columbia, El Salvador, Ethiopia, Guatemala, Guinea, Honduras, Lao People's Democratic Republic, Nicaragua, Rwanda, Uganda).

-Coffee can be traced back to the 9th century, when it was discovered in the highlands of Ethiopia

quote of the day

2008-04-22T14:45:00.000-04:00

"It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the beans of Java the thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning. It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion."

-unknown

8.0 awesome things

2008-04-19T21:20:00.004-04:00

1. partial differential equations
2. brew nerds coffee, duh.
3. www.wired.com.
4. open source anything.
5. all manner of robots.
6. rubik's cube (and each of it's 43,252,003,274,489,856,000 permutations).
7. iStuff. iPods, iPhones, iPhotos, iMacs, and so on...
8. nerds.

pocket protection mania

2008-04-16T11:00:00.003-04:00

after an unfortunate incident involving the destruction of my current pocket protector, i turned my attention to the world wide web, where i was certain i could find a suitable replacement.

i happened upon this site, and knew that it must be shared with fellow nerds everywhere.

it should come as no surprise, that i will be opting for the "full monty", shown in all it's glory below:

true nerds don't try to hide their pocket protectors.

ms. pacman > pacman

2008-04-14T19:02:00.003-04:00

during my frequent excursions to brew nerds, i often overhear patrons of the establishment engaging in discourse about the differences of original pacman and ms. pacman. although i feel that my mental database of pacman information is sufficient, in an effort to obtain a comprehensive list for my fellow gaming aficionados, i did some research. my findings are below:

1. pacman has only one maze. ms. pacman has six different mazes (four styles, with 5 colors). the maze changes after each intermission.

2. pacman's mazes have hollow walls. ms. pacman's walls are solid.

3. pacman has one warp tunnel, connecting the left and right sides of the maze. ms. pacman has two warp tunnels (except for the third maze design which contains only one tunnel).

4. the programming in pacman used pre-set ghost movement patterns, which gamers were able to memorize and defeat each level. ms. pacman uses pseudo-random movement, making it much more difficult to predict the paths of the ghosts.

5. fruits appear in the center of the maze in pacman, whereas in ms. pacman, fruits enter the maze through one of the warp tunnels, bounce around the maze, and through another tunnel if not eaten.

6. the orange ghost is named clyde in pacman. in ms. pacman, her name is sue.

7. in pacman the intermissions were humorous animations starring pacman and the ghosts. in ms. pacman the three intermissions follow the relationship between pacman and ms. pacman.

8. ms. pacman rules.*

*note: this fact was not in my research. it is an axiom of the video game world.

quote of the day

2008-04-08T15:20:00.001-04:00

A Mathematician is a machine for turning coffee into theorems.

-Paul Erdos

395K

2008-04-06T22:29:00.004-04:00

a fellow coffee aficionado and pac-man fanatic has recorded a new high score at the brew nerds pacman table. i am certain that if i were to increase the amount of time spent refining my retro-gaming skills, that the high score would be mine expeditiously. however, i currently find myself consumed with other critical endeavors, and must humbly extend a congratulations to the bearer of the increased maximum score.

mocha++;

2008-04-05T20:39:00.006-04:00

in my endless pursuit of fantastic coffee based beverage options, a twist on an old favorite has been discovered.

borrowing from the milkshake industry, the maltese falcon combines the already perfected brew nerds mocha with a generous portion of malt, both mixed in and sprinkled randomly on top.

when you consume this excellent specimen of coffee greatness, your taste buds will put you on their friends list.

geeks on!

2008-03-27T07:47:00.002-04:00

although the term "geek" is generally shunned among the nerd community, the content of the site geekson.com covers a wide range of geek and nerd topics, and cannot go unposted by this nerd.

to caffeinate or not to caffeinate?

2008-03-24T21:01:00.004-04:00

there's really no question, actually.
the sole purpose of a coffee bean, from the exact moment it bursts out into the world, until the time it reaches our custom designed drinking vessels, is to provide caffeine to the masses.

with that fact now pointed out (as if it weren't glaringly obvious), i present you with the following facts about the approximate caffeine content in some various brew nerds beverages.

before i proceed, allow me to remind the non-nerds who may be reading, that
16 ounces ≈ 450 milliliters.

and now, without further ado, caffeine information for the galaxy's preeminent coffee:
brewed coffee (450 ml) - 320 mg caffeine
average swirlie (450 ml) - 195 mg caffeine
cafe americano (450 ml) - 225 mg caffeine
cafe latte (450 ml) - 150 mg caffeine
cafe mocha (450 ml) - 175 mg caffeine
espresso (30 ml) - 75 mg caffeine
expresso (30 ml) - 0 mg caffeine

i can only hope that this serves to provide you with the data that will allow you to make an informed decision the next time you are fortunate enough to find yourself a patron of the one and only brew nerds.

iphone cool fact #1

2008-03-19T22:36:00.006-04:00

there's a myriad of reasons why the iphone is an amazing feat of technology. some are plainly obvious, while others can only be realized by the approximately 5,000,000 extraordinarily intelligent iphone users in the galaxy.

the iphone does not have an actual keyboard, rather a virtual keyboard that is generated on the touch screen. as you are about to select a particular key, it becomes magnified. this serves to make it easier to select, since the iphone is a sleek and beautiful device, and our human fingers are clumsy and lacking in elegance.

here's where it gets sweet. the iphone recognizes common words, so it uses the science of probability to predict the next character you will type. for characters that are statistically more likely to be next (such as "e" after "coff"), the iphone enlarges the landing area around the key, making it much easier to select the correct next letter and much more difficult to select a statistically impossible letter ("x" after "coff", for example).

your iphone is smarter than you.

happy π day

2008-03-14T09:08:00.006-04:00

or more accurately, happy 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971693993751058209749445923078
164062862089986280348253421170679821480865132823066470938446095505822
317253594081284811174502841027019385211055596446229489549303819644288
109756659334461284756482337867831652712019091456485669234603486104543
266482133936072602491412737245870066063155881748815209209628292540917
153643678925903600113305305488204665213841469519415116094330572703657
595919530921861173819326117931051185480744623799627495673518857527248
912279381830119491298336733624406566430860213949463952247371907021...
day!

today (3/14) is pi day. for your reading enjoyment, here are some interesting factoids:
1. pi represents the relationship between a circle’s diameter and its circumference.
2. pi is an irrational number.
3. pi has been calculated to over 1 trillion decimal places (via computer).
4. the symbol for pi was first used in 1706 by William Jones, but become popular after being used by Leonhard Euler in 1737

for more π day fun, go here.
what will you be doing to celebrate pi day?

flow chart

2008-03-13T03:15:00.000-04:00

for all the non-nerds in the galaxy, here is a diagram that details the path to becoming a nerd, courtesy of the new york times...

best. video game. ever.

2008-03-11T11:37:00.005-04:00

last friday, an integral element of the brew nerds atmosphere finally arrived in the form of a ms. pacman table. although there are other games available in this console, ms. pacman strikes a chord with myself and countless other nerds the world around, and is widely considered the best video game from -∞ to ∞.

i'm slightly humbled to report that the following high score came at the hands of a fellow (and rival) nerd.

whoever you are, know that i will soon overtake you and the high score will be all mine!

projected saturday agenda

2008-03-07T15:05:00.008-05:00

behold, all signs point to a splendid saturday on the horizon...

to begin my day in ultimate nerd fashion, i will stop into the store and enjoy a gratifying selection from the specialty coffee beverages. i will pair this with a princess leah cinnamon roll to create a perfect breakfast marriage. incidentally, at this time, i aspire to converse socially with a recently hired employee, whose aesthetically pleasing qualities and nerd attributes have caught my optical nerves.

my afternoon plans consist of several hours of WoW, a bag of cool ranch doritos and a six pack of mountain dew. a minimal, indefinite number of my closest cyber acquaintances will be convening with me online in warcraft universe for this activity.

as twilight approaches, some local fellow nerds will be joining me at my place for an informal social gathering. we will share in consuming approximately 2 to 3 pizzas and at least 2 twelve packs of various caffeinated, carbonated beverages. although definite plans have yet to be confirmed, there is a high probability (> 0.85) that we will spend the night competing in various wii games and sharing in a number of conversations pertaining to topics of higher thinking.

nerd utopia.

Nutella + Coffee = Tasty x 1050

2008-03-04T08:41:00.000-05:00

a few days back, i was enjoying breakfast and was completely absorbed in my most recent issue of the Fantastic Four. when i reached to turn the page during an action sequence, my excitement got the best of me and i accidentally dropped the remaining 1/3 of my Nutella toast into my coffee. Sir Alexander Fleming discovered penicillin by accident and I have now discovered what will come to be known as the Nutellatte.

my latest invention has since been implemented at the store and has seen terrific reviews. and do not fear, there was no damage to Fantastic Four #553 and it is now safely encased in a protective sheathing and filed away for future enjoyment.

the invasion has begun

2008-02-29T16:08:00.000-05:00

sincerest apologies for the long down time between blog posts, but envisioning, creating, planning and constructing the distribution center for the world's smartest coffee has proven to be quite a time consuming task.

early last week, we conducted intense beta testing on all of the Brew Nerds systems, from the cash registers, to the awesome light emitting diode outdoor decor, to the staff of nerds who have been assembled to provide the world with a superior cup of coffee.

on friday, Brew Nerds 1.0 went live. coffee that can do kung fu is available for nerds everywhere. we are now poised for the takeover of planet earth. nerds rule!

the new structure

2007-08-28T07:02:00.000-04:00

the steel beams are positioned onto the footings for the new coffee emporium...invasion of the nerds!

repulsive

2007-08-18T17:18:00.001-04:00

abhorrent, abominable, cruddy, disagreeable, disgusting, distasteful, forbidding, foul, funky, grody, gross, hateful, hideous, horrid, loathsome, nasty, nauseating, noisome, objectionable, obnoxious, odious, off-putting, pugnacious, repellent, revolting, sickening, stinky, undesirable, unpleasant, unsightly, vile

espresso

2007-08-16T19:44:00.000-04:00

a.k.a. the perfect shot.

7 grams of precisely ground espresso beans extracted with pure ion-exchanged H2) heated to 463.15 kelvin under 900,000 pascals.